Karen Kain’s Blog
The beautiful thing about mothers who have been shunned by society is that they become creative. Without rules we tend to make up our own. Who knew two years ago when I met Candyce Estave & Marcella Piper-Terry that I would be rallying together with these awesome moms to raise awareness for our children and their parents.
Truth be told, when Lorrin was alive I used to tell people educate before you vaccinate, break up the vaccines and give them separately. But since her death, almost five years ago, I see and hear the same story over and over about vaccine injury. Now, I tell parents to breast feed and keep all the toxins out of their babies for as long as possible. That means all toxins, GMO’s, red dye and lets not forget the poisonous sugar.
Marcella’s daughter Rachel was vaccine injured as a child twenty years ago. She was labeled with many different names. Thankfully she fully recovered through bi0-medical treatment. When Rachel was 15 she was bitten by a spider and her mom was bullied into giving her a tetanus vaccination. Marcella didn’t know that what she was agreeing to give her daughter was actually the TDaP which was full of milk proteins which Rachel is allergic to. Only hours after the vaccine Rachel almost died. Since then many of her symptoms returned from her early childhood. It really angered Marcella when she saw all the pressure coming from the schools stating that parents HAD to vaccinate. She called the local paper in her area and wanted them to print the facts about vaccinations. She was totally denied. Then Marcella became creative, she decided to post a billboard in her area that stated the truth about vaccines and a link to where parents could obtain more information.
What started to be a simple idea has blown up into a huge campaign. The first billboard posted was raised by parents donations via Facebook and dedicated to a boy who recently died from vaccine injury. The universe was supporting this message in many ways. Please go to VaxTruth.org to read the entire billboards and Rachels story.
Candyce Estave, a mother of two beautiful children, who’s son was injured by vaccinations, remembers knowing in her gut it was wrong to vaccinate, so she asked her best friend to help hold him down while her doctor gave him his shots. At 17 months of age her beautiful baby boy lost his language, stopped kissing and cuddling and started lining up his toys in a row. She admits being in denial for a while until her family told her that there was something terribly wrong.A few months ago, Candyce stood on her street corner in Santa Maria holding signs with other parents to get the truth about vaccine rights out to parents. I saw this and called her to say, “I want to stand on the corner with you!” I am proud to say that this campaign is becoming a grass roots movement to educate. You won’t see this type of information on the television because we all know who owns the TV. You don’t have to watch very long until you see a Viagra, Tylenol or some type of drug commercial. As I mentioned before, today’s moms are clever and creative, we are not going away and we will tell our truth to anyone who will listen, in the hope that this information will go some way to saving our precious babies and their families from injury.
I am very excited to go to Santa Maria and stand on the corner. Like all other grass movements this one is free and intended to educate parents. The CDC states that 53% of our children has some type of chronic illness. That is one in two! We all need to be concerned about the Autism rates, infant mortality rates and diabetes to name a few. Our kids are sick and we need to stop this. I encourage you to educate yourself and share this information with as many people who will listen.
For more information see VaxTruth.org.
When: Friday July 18, 2014 from 3-500 pm
Where: Corner of Main Street and Miller in Santa Maria, CA 93454
Recently at my fourth Autism One conference I experienced that familiar response after one finds out that Lorrin has died. Some had tears pool in their eyes and a look of pity came over their face. Each person who hears our story puts himself or herself in my place. I understand it, I do. Of course it is every mother’s greatest fear to lose her child. But the truth is that it didn’t happen over night, it took many years for me to get the understanding and place of peace that I am at now. Lorrin being my greatest teacher came in to this lifetime with big shoes to fill.
It saddens me deeply meeting so many parents living with vaccine injury. Their desperate search to recover their precious babies reminds me of the first years of Lorrin’s life. Back in 1994 I did all that I could do to “heal” Lorrin. Isolated, before the Internet I took Lorrin anywhere and everywhere to fix her. It wasn’t until she was three years old that I realized that she came here to live in this seemingly broken body to help others and me. The healing that I was looking for in Lorrin was actually meant to take place in me. I was the one who needed help.
I think the hardest part of being Lorrin’s mom was finding the balance in doing all that I could do to help her be as comfortable as she could in her broken body and still remain in a state of grace, fully understanding that she was perfect the way she was. I miss being a mom, her sweet face, those little crooked feet and her big blue eyes each looking in a different direction.
So how can I explain to parents that I am ok with Lorrin not being physical? It is hard to put into words; it has been a journey and a life lesson. My inner peace is from Lorrins teachings that have become my belief system. She taught me that Life is just a coffee break. Our time on earth is brief. We are here to learn lessons of love. It is my belief that Lorrin and I have lived many life times together; her taking care of me and visa versa. Before she came here she agreed to this body that appears to the rest of us as a horrible existence. I agreed to be her mother. She was totally comfortable with who she was and had a huge faith in God. She understood higher realms and communicated to people in many different ways without words. Lorrin has always talked to people in their dreams. She told me once, “Mom if you could see what I do, you would not worry so much and you would enjoy life more.” Lorrin always wanted me to be in a place of self-love.
I am in awe to all the brave parents who are fighting the fight. Recovery is happening for so many children. But I just want to say that if your child is not recovered please be open to the idea that they are perfect the way they are and here to teach you many wonderful lessons. I encourage you not to get so caught up in the fixing that you miss the journey. Being unique has awesome benefits. In all Lorrin’s brokenness she made people feel comfortable drawing them in with her loving energy.
Please know I understand the look. Yes, something tragic happened to my family. The truth is that tragic events happen all the time. The true tragedy would have been if I missed her life lessons and missed the joy in being Lorrin’s mother. Lorrin was/is an amazing teacher and that was only made possible by her uniqueness. She never walked or talked and in 15 years taught me more than I could have learned in lifetimes. I often think about what she would be like if she would “normal” and wonder if we would have been so close? Would I have met Sarah her BFF? The best part of who I am is because SHE came here in a body that most see as insignificant. To all you moms, dads, caregivers and onlookers to unique children, please know that each of us wants the same things in life we just manage to do them differently. Life is short and meant to be embraced and treasured. I always say quality not quantity.
Our unique children are changing the world. Lorrin is one of many messengers of love and light. I believe that there is a healing taking place and parents all over are seeing the magic in their precious children who are strong and powerful, communicating with each other on a level that most of us don’t understand yet. Be open to the journey and do your best to stay in the moment. Life is happening.
Who over 40 hasn’t heard their elders say at least once, “When I was young I walked two miles in the snow, up hill to get to school?” Yes, we can all relate to a time when things were tougher. I can’t help but wonder how moms are surviving in today’s society with all the pressures regarding children’s health. The CDC states that 53% of US children have chronic illness, 1 in 68 children have Autism; diabetes and peanut allergies are on the rise. Many of us believe that the vaccine schedule plays a huge role in making our babies sick. How do mother’s do it?
Recently my friend was kicked out of 3 different pediatrician offices for choosing to delay the vaccine schedule for her one year old. The third office she was kicked out of recommended that she quit breast-feeding and give her daughter cows milk. Today pediatricians are also strongly suggesting that anyone near a newborn be vaccinated. This new trend is referred to as the “cocoon” effect. It is creating some serous breakdowns between mother/daughter/grandmother relationships.
Our kids are sick, mothers are worried and any one questioning the vaccine schedule is labeled a “crazy” person. Actually, we like to be referred to as Thinkers. Thanks to The Thinking Mom’s Revolution we have united, and are choosing to not vaccinate. We are also choosing alternative diets, eliminating gluten, GMO’s, and quit going to the pediatrician. It is a sad time when we just can’t trust doctors. We have had numerous reports of nurses trying to sneak vaccines into babies, without parental consent. Healthcare workers are being forced to vaccinate or lose their jobs.
My niece simply stated, “If I am not vaccinating my baby there is no point in going to see the doctor, there are too many germs there.” I have to admit it makes me a bit nervous that moms are afraid to go to the pediatrician’s office. I lived there. Lorrin was not vaccinated by the pediatrician who took care of her for 14 years. Doctor “K” and I got pretty close during Lorrin’s numerous visits. I am grateful that he listened to me and we could agree to disagree on the issue of vaccinations. He told me that, “I always listen to the mother.” I know for a fact that Lorrin would have died long ago without his amazing care. It weighs heavy on my mind that; newborns, infants and young children are not being seen by a doctor. One thinker told me, “The doctors are just not listening”. I hear time and time again the same story, “I took my baby in and after the vaccination he/she was sick. The doctor told me that it was normal and prescribed antibiotics and then another round of vaccinations, and then another. This happens over and over until the child becomes allergic, chronically ill and or diagnosed with Autism.”
In The Thinking Mom’s Revolution book they give a shout out to Mark Zuckerberg for the wonderful gift of Facebook. Here we share, compare and connect. Parents are not alone or isolated. Their stories are not rare, it is the same one over and over. We unite, lift each other up when we are down and celebrate life no matter our kid’s abilities. Together we will make change and educate so this travesty will no longer be what society deems acceptable. Pediatricians need to be aware. Mothers I want to hold you up on this Mother’s Day and celebrate you and your beautiful children. Our voices will be heard. Happy Mother’s Day Thinkers.
The Buzz 2014
I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. But I am excited to start 2014, as the author of my new book, “A Unique Life Fully Lived”.
About 18 years ago I attended my first Abilities Expo with my daughter Lorrin. I was invited by Lorrins physical therapist and was told it was a “must” attend for families living a unique life experience. I went kicking and screaming as I did most things that involved my new life as a parent of a child with multiple disabilities. Unexpectedly, It opened my world in many ways. I found out that people living unique lives were fun, powerful and inspiring. Who knew? I returned year after year and befriended many vendors. When Lorrin was in her teens I worked at the Disabled Dealer booth sharing her accessible pinball machine. I had great fun and met all kinds of wonderful people.
In 2010 only months after Lorrin’s death, I remember leaving the Abilities Expo Los Angeles and walking through the parking structure feeling as though someone had finally cut my umbilical cord. I was sad, holding my stomach, barely able to walk. I was finally free of all things unique. Throughout that day I grieved Lorrin but felt a boost every time I was connecting with someone who was doing amazing things, even though they were differently abled. I kept thinking to myself, “It feels like Lorrin is near.” The more I thought about it the more that I realized I was a lifer in this community of awe-inspiring individuals.
As I complete my life’s work as Lorrin’s mother, many emotions come to the surface. What is the purpose of sharing our story? Each day I remind myself the reason I write. I remember being a parent before the Internet, feeling lost and scared. At times I was afraid of my daughter, but always afraid for her future. Connecting with people living unique lives gave me permission to get creative with how I was parenting Lorrin. The wonderful thing about parenting a unique child is that there are no rules, so I made up my own.
As a child I never wanted to be a writer. I started writing after Lorrin’s vaccine injury to save myself from the mad thoughts that filled my head. Being Lorrin’s parent changed my life and put me in a direction that I never imagined taking. In a dream one time, Lorrin laughingly said to me, “Mom, if nothing more, I have given you something to write about.” Lorrin always the calm one, also told me, “Life is but a coffee break!” One truth I learned from my daughter was that, if she was not worried, then why should I be?
A Unique Life Fully Lived is just that, a life lived with many experiences. It will make you cry. You can ask my husband the editor how many tissues he has gone through. At one point he said, “I have never cried so much in my life”. It will also make you laugh and hopefully fill your heart with hope and peace. I was not and am never going to be a sainted mother. I made many mistakes along the way and learned many life lessons from my daughter and random strangers who I met because of her.
It is my wish that my readers are inspired to try harder and to love themselves more. I also hope they become open to the wonderful and magical experience that unique children share.
I hope this book helps you to surrender your attachment to any expectation of what you thought your parenting experience was going to be and encourages you to surrender to what it is and ENJOY! There is enormous power behind just accepting your child just as they are. When you do this as a parent the entire dynamics change, and that is a promise!
I am excited about 2014, and am honored to be an Ambassador for the Abilities Expo for the second year. I can’t wait to be in Los Angeles and all the Expos. I long to reconnect with the amazing people from prior years and meet new families. I hope my book finds its way into the right hands and helps our unique and wonderful children by helping their parents.
January 18, 2014 By karenkain
I am honored to announce that I have completed my book, A Unique Life Fully Lived – The Lorrin Kain Story
It is after many years of growing, writing and sharing that I have completed my first book. I have always felt that there was a profound reason for Lorrin’s purpose in life. I tried to learn as much as I could while being her mother. She taught me more in 15 years than I could learn in many life times. Our journey and the lessons that she came here to teach are in my manuscript. I hope that you will enjoy reading this and grow from it as much as I am proud to share it with you. I look forward to traveling around the US with The Abilities Expo and talking to families about our adventures.
I recently spent some quality time with my friend Jane and her 2 ½ year old son. He impressed me with his ability to memorize, comprehend, and articulate. I would certainly consider him to be above average. I wasn’t the only one who noticed, everywhere we went she received comments similar to, “Wow! He is really smart.” Jane and I talk often about health, wellness and vaccines. She frankly asked, “I wonder if he is really smart or just healthy?”
This adorable young lad, who I will refer to as Jake, has never had a vaccination. The entire family is gluten free and eats an organic diet. Jake is still breast fed, he watches zero television (only selected movies) and gets what I would consider to be above and beyond love and attention at home. Jake’s play time is spent putting together and pulling apart Lego toys, one to one time, listening to classical and age appropriate music and is read to daily. Is Jake above average or is he one of the few babies, in this day and age, who is raised in a healthy lifestyle?
I told Jane that I thought she had dodged a bullet; she and her husband have allergies and are very sensitive to medications. Their commitment to making sure that Jake has a toxic free life as possible started way before birth.
As the vaccine war continues, doctors, HHS, CDC and the media all tell us that vaccines don’t cause harm. They also share statistics which state 53% of our children have some type of chronic illness, such as: allergies, asthma, seizures, diabetes and we can’t forget AUTISM! I am not exactly sure where Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) fits into all of this.
I travel around the US speaking to families who are Living a Unique Life Experience, and I hear the same two things: My child was fine until his/her vaccination or my child has a rare disease. Just yesterday, I was shopping at a children’s second hand store and a mother of a 1-year-old baby boy was on the phone to her doctor’s office, regarding her child’s prescription. She needed official paperwork in order to attend day care. It sounded almost as though she was proud of the fact that she was giving her son meds. I realize as I write this that I am judging, but it certainly made me think about how many US citizens are on some type of medication. Doctors have no problem prescribing medication to infants, at the same time advising parents not to feed any kind of solid food due to their digestive system being not fully developed. No bananas for our babies, but lets give them 8 shots at once, which are full of: diseases, aborted fetal tissue, mercury, formaldehyde and God knows what else. Parents are also encouraged to give their infants canned formula instead of breast-feeding. Are we dummied up? You don’t have to do much research to learn that when you microwave food it destroys the nutritional value.
We live in a fast paced society and our kids are suffering. If kids are lucky enough to have two parents living in the home, they are usually both working. I am concerned for our children and their future. Our health is not being put first. Instead of keeping fit and eating healthily we take pills. We are treating symptoms but not the cause. Are vaccinations, television, packaged food, sugars, gluten, GMO’s and hormones in our food responsible for making kids numb and dumb? It takes time and money to filter out these poisons but parents are paying one way or another, aren’t they? I know many parents who have kids with Autism that easily spend $64,000, a year if not more to recover their children (to get the toxins out of their bodies).
Parents, I am not blaming you for vaccinating. I did it. I am also NOT saying that vaccine injured kids are not smart, they are. Lorrin, was incredibly smart; she had a wicked sense of humor that most missed, because she was stuck living in a body with severe brain damage. I remember when she was 13, during physical therapy we tried to teach her how to give the middle finger, as age appropriate expressive language, right? She tried and tried with great effort to straighten her tiny curled finger with no success. We finally settled on her giving what we liked to call the, “one eye” she would wink one of her baby blues with a rotten teenage smirk, we all knew exactly what she meant. After all, everyone wants to cuss their parents, at least once. As far as I know she only did it to a selected few and me. Lorrin was a joker and that takes intelligence.
I am NOT blaming parents, I know they are angry and feel guilty that they vaccinated their babies. Many feel as though they let them down and are responsible for the challenges that they will live with for the rest of their lives. I certainly would love to see a study that compares the health and wellness of vaccinated V’s non vaccinated children. Looking at their ability to focus, learning, motor skills, comprehension and retention.
I admit that I sometimes think that all children are disabled; it is the crowd that I run with. I have not been a parent of a healthy child. I am very proud of my nieces and nephew who have made informed decisions on what they put into their children. I do know when I sit next to my great nephew, who is not vaccinated he does not stop talking; he is funnier and more creative than most adults I know, and thinks out of the box. Just the fact that he is a boy puts him at a huge risk for having Autism.
Thanksgiving was one of Lorrin’s favorite holidays. She loved the smells coming from the kitchen, in the days preparing for a celebration of what we are grateful for. You might think that parents who have unique children do not feel grateful, but I believe parents who live A Unique Life Experience are possibly more grateful for the little things. I have learned that the little things become the big things.
What I really think she loved most were people coming together without any expectations, except good food and cheer, celebrating love and gratitude. For many years I had dinner at my home for the misfits who didn’t have family close by. Family can mean many things and often blood has nothing to do with it. We always had an extended family of nurses and caregivers that were such a huge part of our lives.
I want to share a bit about what I am grateful for. It will be four years this December since Lorrin left her body. I am still recovering from the posttraumatic stress that was my life for 15 years. My body still reacts to old patterns and thought forms. I worked especially hard taking care of my spirit when Lorrin was alive and I know now that I need to work equally as hard every day to keep as emotionally sane, spiritually in tune and physically healthy as I can be. Lorrin was such a spiritual being always comfortable with who she was. In the beginning I learned by her lead and it took me many years of kicking and screaming, complaining and moaning about my situation before I came to the realization, if she wasn’t complaining then why was I?
I believe that I not only survived but also thrived as Lorrin’s mother, by taking care of my spirit and understanding that she was perfect just the way she was. I learned that I had to take care of myself to better care for her, ultimately learning that I had very little control over my circumstances, only in the way I reacted to them.
I spent 15 years mastering my reactions to unbearable situations. Understanding that my thoughts became my reality. I learned that I had better be careful on what I focused upon. I was dedicated to learning all that I could, to keep peace in my brain, body and home. I worked with many different platforms of spiritual based guidance. I have developed a mish mash of tools and beliefs that I use daily to keep my sanity. Just yesterday I worked with Megan who is my energy guru. We have worked on and off together for 7 years. During our phone session I told her, “I am missing it!” I know what I should be doing but I am not getting it. She told me that I had so much stress for so many years that part of my body was reacting to my, “Always being one step ahead of disaster” caregiver lifestyle. I knew back then that I didn’t have control, but I did my best to control what I thought I could; impending hospital stays, trying to keep Lorrin’s body as healthy as possible, which consisted of vitamins, therapies, drops, tinctures, food and of course let us not forget play. Talking to Megan I realized that as I was busy in my new home preparing for winter (which may consist of 4 feet of snow for four months), in doing that I was triggering my old “one step ahead” pattern. And even though I was only storing food it triggered my deep seeded one step ahead of disaster physical response.
Four years after Lorrin’s death I still suffer panic attacks and anxiety. Talking to Megan, she reminded me of the things that I knew but have not been using since my move. I love how the subconscious works; the night before I had a dream and the message was clear as day, “Be in the now, be here now”. With my epiphany I immediately went to a place of, I should know better, but that is just one more way my ego tries to beat me up. My second thought is of all the moms that are still dealing with a fight or flight lifestyle.
So what does that have to do with being grateful? Well, I am grateful that Lorrin loved me enough to pick me, teach me and trust me to take the very best care of her. In doing so I learned many life lessons. I think I am a better person for parenting her, and experiencing all of the ups and downs we shared together. Today, I try my best to take care of myself in honor of Lorrin, who lived in a body that was catastrophically broken without ever complaining. I share my story in the hope that parents, especially moms will take extra time to get in touch with their spirits; be gentle with themselves and slow the trying to be “one step ahead of disaster” lifestyle. Be in the moment and enjoy the simple things, the beautiful memories that are being made right now. Thank you, to all the children who come into this world to teach us a higher meaning. It is an honor and a privilege to be a parent of A Child Living A Unique Life Experience.
If you are on the internet and living with Autism, Lisa Joyce Goes, is a household name. Her co-authored book, “The Thinking Mom’s Revolution” newly released exploded and sold out immediately. When I prepared to go to Autism One Generation Rescue 2013, I planted my seed early and asked if she would save me a minute to interview her. Once I got there I was not so sure that would happen. I was not the only one wanting to steal time from her so I promised to wait in line. I am not her only fan she is a hero to many. I am very proud to say that I was able to interview her and her husband Dave about family. What an amazing powerhouse couple who are changing the world. It is an honor and privilege to share.
For those of you who have never been to an Abilities Expo, this is a small bit of the fun that you will find. I have been going to these shows for 17 years. I keep coming back because I love the people, get inspired and learn something new each show.
It is an honor to be a Parent Ambassador for the 2013 Abilities Expos. Check it out!
Robert & Ellen Rohan share tips for love & life
I met Ellen 19 years ago. At that time her daughter Melody and my Lorrin looked so much alike people thought they were twins. Ellen became a soul mate to me. Our lives parralleled over the years: our daughters both had uncontrolled seizures, our husbands could not cope both dying to excess drug or alcohal abuse and we supported each other as much as possible. I am honored to share this video. Ellen and Robert have winning attitude towards all that they do in life. I am proud to call then friends. Melody is just that a beautiful note with a fabulous spirit.