Karen Kain’s Blog
This year was a crazy year for me, I started out by celebrating my book release, A Unique Life fully Lived. When I asked Lorrin for guidance on how to go forward she of course said, “Mom go big or go home!” So I hired a publicist and I traveled all around the US talking to families, television stations and book stores to promote my book. My heart has always been with all families of unique children, but of course, I find myself talking about vaccines and sharing information which a large number of people are just not aware of.
When I took Lorrin in for her vaccinations, I believed I was doing the right thing and I trusted my doctor. I researched her stroller and car seat to make sure my baby was safe, but I never questioned the vaccine schedule. Twenty years later, I am a lot more educated.
Parents need to understand and educate themselves on some very important facts:
- Vaccines are made with – aborted fetal tissue (human DNA), aluminum, mercury, formaldehyde and MSG. Please go online and read the manufacture inserts. Here is a link to Johns Hopkins – Institute for Vaccine Safety Package Inserts – http://www.vaccinesafety.edu/package_inserts.htm
- The current vaccine schedule requires at the 6-month well baby check up 9 vaccines at once including the flu shot. This vaccine schedule has never been tested. They have been tested separately, but there is no research when combined.
- The US has the highest vaccine schedule and one of the highest infant mortality rates; we fall behind 33 other developed nations regarding infant mortality (the death rate for children under the age of 2). We are ranked behind 78 other nations for infants who die within the first 24 hours of life.
- The CDC states that 1 in 2 children has chronic illness which includes, Autism, Autism spectrum disorders, allergies, Seizures, asthma, obesity, diabetes, etc.
- The only education that doctors receive from medical school is how to give vaccines according to the CDC schedule. They are not educated on vaccine ingredients or what a vaccine injury looks like.
- The CDC regulates the safety of the vaccine policy and the vaccine schedule. The CDC is supported by over 11 billion taxpayer dollars. The federal government takes 75 cents from each vaccine given. This is called Excise Tax. For each single vaccine given they receive .75 cents and $2.25 for a combination vaccine such as the MMR. This money is used to pay for “Vaccine Court” which protects the drug companies’ and the doctors from being sued by the injured party. BUT, they also take a 25% administration fee and that amount is put into the US general fund used to fight wars or whatever they see fit. “The Vaccine Injury Compensation Program” (VICP), was created in 1986 to support families who have been vaccine injured. My daughter Lorrin was compensated by the VICP.
- The National Institute of Health owned a piece of the development of the Gardasil vaccine. Then Merck bought the vaccine patent. Now, the CDC promotes giving it. Many are concerned that we have our federal government making money off promoting vaccines. When they should be reviewing the safety of vaccines. Ideally you would think that the CDC would not be able to become partners with the corporations it is set up to study. That is what is often referred to as, “The fox guarding the hen house.”
- The best thing that I can do is to share my story of how I was treated by Human & Health Services, after they had immediately agreed that Lorrin was vaccine injured. The lot from which her vaccination came had 30 reports of seizures or worse and 10 surrounding deaths. It took 3 years to settle on the amount that my daughter’s life was worth. My family did not receive due process (to have a judge and jury). Vaccine court is the only court in the US that denies due process. If Lorrin took a “Hit for the team, or for the greater good”, she should have been treated like a hero.
Earlier in the year the statistics came out stating that 1 in 68 children has an Autism diagnosis. This was brushed over in mainstream media. What most people don’t’ understand is that 1 in 68 is an understated figure, because it omits children who are under the age of twelve. A more accurate estimate based on the yearly rate of increase at 13% (per CDC) to their 1 in 68 number from 2014, extrapolated out actually comes out for 2014 to an alarming 1 in 21 for three- year-olds having Autism or Autism like behaviors and a 1 in 18 for two-year-old babies. We as a people should all be concerned. This affects all of us in every way. The projection is that in 2025, 1 in 2, that is half of our children with have an Autism diagnosis.
We also all need to be aware that our government is trying to make vaccinations mandatory in all states. We need to keep our focus and stay strong regarding this very important issue -
I drove down to Santa Maria, California and stood on the corner with Candyce Estave holding signs that said, “No Shots No School….Not True!”. This is a huge campaign started by Marcella Piper-Terry with VaxTruth.org. I strongly encourage parents to educate themselves on their exemption rights. Each state has different exemption laws. Currently there are two states, Mississippi, and West Virginia that only allow medical exemptions. In all other states you can sign a religious and or philosophical exemption. But our government is trying to take that right away from us.
Another huge concern that I am not sure many people know, has recently taken place in California; Children 12-18 can be vaccinated for sexually transmitted diseases without their parents’ permission. They cannot get a library card but they can go in and receive a vaccination without the consent of their parents. There have been many reports that children are being bullied when going into the schools nurses office for other reasons. They are being told, “If you have sex you will get cancer and die, in an effort to push the Gardasil vaccination. If a child has a reaction to the vaccine and their parents have no idea that it was given, how can we properly care for our children? This entire subject scares me. Please take a moment and google “Gardasil injuries” and see how many of our girls have been injured by this vaccine.
In late August I was traumatized by the CDC whistleblower events. I like many others, waited each day to see what would come of this……
On August 27, 2014, Dr. Thompson who worked as a CDC scientist for 16 years issued a statement that he and his and his coworkers changed statistically important data which showed that African American males had a 240% higher increase in the risk of Autism when given the MMR vaccine before 36 months of age. To make this data look more favorably they pulled every child out of the study who didn’t have a valid Georgia birth certificate. That then reduced the African American population in the study group by 41%. It weakened the analysis so the results were no longer significant. Not only have millions of African American boys been at risk for getting Autism, but we also have lost 10 years of research.
This story blew up in “my” community of vaccine-injured families. Why do I think that these statistics are covered up? One word, Money. There is much money being made at the expense of our children. I am outraged. I have known that we are being lied to for many years, since my experience with the vaccine injury compensation program. The fact that this has not been in the mainstream media every day since this statement was made is extremely disturbing. It shows just how much money is controlling our news. If you watch television it would be hard not to notice that the majority of adds are pharmaceutical related products.
Please parents do the work! Educate yourself. One way is to read the manufactures inserts and learn about what is in the vaccination. Most people spend more time researching a purchase of a cell phone than they research what they are putting into vaccines?
I encourage parents to ask, “Does my baby need a HepB vaccine on the day that they are born?” Expectant mothers need to educate and be prepared before they go to the delivery room. The best parent is an informed parent. Vaccines are medical procedures. There are no medical procedures that are safe for all people. You have the right to say no. If a doctor or nurse, regarding any medical procedure, threatens or coheres you, you should report them to the medical ethics state board. It is illegal to threaten, bully and fear monger you into a medical procedure.
I refer you to VaxTruth.org
It was 20 years ago that Lorrin received her one and only DPT vaccine. She had a 5 minute seizure two hours after that vaccine and another 5 minute seizure two hours after that. On that day my life changed forever. Every day for the rest of her life, she had seizures. Her brain was severely damaged. I started writing, journaling to keep notes about what was happening and I just continued. I was broken and writing was a way to process what was happening to my life. At the time I felt that something extra-ordinary was happening. Lorrin was a powerful teacher and life lessons were coming from all directions.
Lorrin was more than a vaccine-injured child; she was a blond haired blue eyed Pisces. She had a wicked sense of humor and loved to shop and eat chocolate. She had friendships and was loved by many. The book is about truly living life and enjoying what is. It is a love story.
I am sure that I am healing as I travel around the US talking to families of children who are unique. I was so alone in 94, without the Internet and without parental support. As I was going through my “Dark night of the soul(s)”, I knew back then that some day I would share my story and help others. If I can survive all that has happened to me and still find the joy in life, then I can give others hope. I believe that Lorrin was perfect the way she was, she had so much to teach and could have never done that in a healthy body. I feel that she is, and was a wise woman full of courage; who came here and sacrificed so much to teach those who will listen. Lorrin has completed her soul commitment and now it is time for me to do my part.
The most important messages that I share with parents, is to firstly take care of yourself. Mother’s especially give up everything for their children, I did that. I became exhausted and when I was tired it was really hard to make life and death decisions. When I took care of myself I was better able to care for Lorrin and be available to make those important decisions with clarity. Taking care of your spirit is one of the big lessons our children have come here to teach us. I also believe that each soul is important no matter their ability. By accepting our children with all their adversities and seeing the beauty in them and not focusing on the lack, there is much joy to be had. Lorrin never walked or talked but almost 5 years after her death we are still talking about her. It is a great honor to be her mother.
As this year comes to an end I am getting ready for 2015. I will be at Autism One in Chicago in May and am grateful to be at all The Abilities Expos. My priority will be to take care of myself and share as much information as I can with families so their children can grow up the old fashioned way….healthy!
The scientist Dr. Thompson articles are referred to as The CDC Whistleblower articles: https://sites.google.com/site/cdcwhistleblower/news-and-links
Please read – The Big Autism Cover Up by Anne Dachel.
To learn more about vaccine court, Wayne Rohde has a new book, “The Vaccine Court”
To learn more about the relationship with the CDC and other corporations please read, “Who Owns the Science”, by Bobby Dee. http://www.livingwhole.org/who-owns-the-science/
As Thanksgiving approaches, I cannot help but be reminded how much Lorrin loved this holiday. As I cooked, she loved how the house filled up with delicious aromas. I think my best memories were family and friends sitting around the table sharing stories, whilst Lorrin tasted the homemade pies, potatoes and gravy. Of all the holidays, Thanksgiving was her favorite. Don’t get me wrong, she loved dressing up for Halloween, getting gifts at Christmas and her birthday. But, one of the things Lorrin did best was to always be in the moment and be grateful for the day.
I am grateful for all that she taught me. This December will be 5 years since she has crossed over. As the holidays draw near, my body seems to have muscle memories of grief from years past. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t miss her. Every time I do, I try to remember the amazing lessons of love that she has taught me, I try to stay focused on being in the moment and enjoying life.
Today and every day I wake up and think of the things that I am grateful for before my feet hit the ground. Just the fact that I am alive gives me an opportunity to do my best to enjoy life; that is my responsibility. Some days I do better than others, but it is always in the back of my mind that I should be having fun! I will never forget her words of advice, “Mom, life is but a coffee break!”
Being a parent of a medically fragile child meant that I had many friends that I would have never met, if not for Lorrin and her uniqueness. Most of my friends today have come into my life through Lorrin. I have friends who are judges, lawyers, doctors, chiropractors, spiritual and intuitive workers, writers, nurses and make-up artists and many unique children, and their parents.
Today, I know that my belief system is based on all that Lorrin has taught me. I know that as long as I am here on this earth it is my responsibility to be happy and to live in the moment. I often fantasize what it would be like if Lorrin was not vaccine injured and lived her life as a healthy girl. I will never know. But I am proud of the life that we have together and grateful for all those who came into our lives to live, laugh, love and sometimes cry together. I am grateful for the woman I am today and I can honestly say I have learned, survived and grown from adversity.
I want to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving holiday. I hope that loved ones, good food and most of all good health surround you. Eat lots, laugh hard and be in the moment, there is nowhere else to be!
It was 20 years ago this summer, I was sat in Los Angeles Children’s Hospital with my daughter Lorrin, across from a top pediatric brain surgeon, talking about her future. There was no surgery option available for Lorrin - her entire brain was damaged. Only five months old, she slept silently, drugged up on Phenobarbital and Dilantin. How could I ever know in her near future that she would be prescribed as many as seven anti-seizure medications at once? She was not making any childhood gains; her lifeless body would only move during one of her 5-minute grand mal seizures. The doctor stood up, showing me he was finished with our conversation as he stated, “We will never find a cure for your daughter because they will never admit that it happens.”
Living my life as a white female raised in a middle class home gave me a false protection from Crimes Against Humanity. Who would ever think that that attack would come from a routine wellness visit as Lorrin was given her one and only DPT vaccine? On April 27, 1994, Lorrin was administered a ‘HOT’ lot. A vaccine full of mercury, it attacked her brain. Within two hours Lorrin had a 5-minute seizure and our lives changed forever.
Back in 1994, before the advent of the internet, I was literally all alone. My husband and I had stopped talking soon after Lorrin’s vaccine injury. I was not going to go home and share this new bit of news; it was filed in the back of my head and heart with all the other things that I was told by doctors. I was not then and am still not a scientist, or have the slightest interest in anything medical. I hate the sight of blood to this day. But I somehow managed to give shots, place urine catheters, change pic line dressings, replace G-tubes, suction her trachea, and give all kinds of vision, OT, PT therapies. I stood by Lorrin’s side watching her almost die – countless times. Dr. John Menkes told me when Lorrin was only one year old, “One day you will wake up and she will be dead.” I love Dr. Menkes, he is one of the only doctors who talked to me about the reality of vaccine injury. He came on board to support our case against HHS, Human Health Services. He was a brilliant and caring man and doctor. Lorrin and I literally lived in the hospital and so I saw him often, every day at times. I also considered him a friend.
For years I was alone in my caring for Lorrin. At times I would hear people share their tales of vaccine injuries; “my son couldn’t walk for days after his vaccine” or “my child lost speech, lost hearing” and so on. I learned of a few stories of parents who had children like Lorrin but we were on our own never to be connected. That is exactly how the HHS wanted it.
This last week after Dr. Brian Hooker exposed the CDC for covering up that the MMR vaccine, when given to African American boys on schedule increases the rate of Autism by 340% has paralyzed me. I, like many other families am not shocked; we all know that we are being lied to. The sad truth is that each day that these truths are hidden, is another day that a child looses their future and sometimes their lives. Parents are left to pick up the pieces of their broken families doing all that they can to keep their sanity whilst dying inside. Families are financially ruined, divorced, some turning to drugs and alcohol in an attempt to silent their minds from the inner madness, guilt and worry for their child’s future. Thank God for the Internet.
Each of us has an important story to tell. Our truths need to be told. I travel all over the country and I hear the same story: I told the doctor something was wrong after the first round of vaccinations and they didn’t listen. So we gave another round followed by antibiotics. To top it off, parents are told to give Tylenol after vaccines are given. Tylenol depletes glutathione, which is needed to detoxify poisons. A recipe for disaster.
I could sit by Lorrin’s side watching her have a huge seizure lasting for 5 minutes or longer and eat a sandwich. When I would watch one of my friend’s kids have a seizure, I would crumble. I am numb to what happened to my daughter, I guess you could say that is the survival instinct. Now, 20 years later and five years after Lorrin’s death, the numbers of children who are vaccine injured is staggering, it breaks my heart.
As I write this I am like all those other parents addicted to the Internet waiting for this news to break into the media channels. In only hours, CNN’s iReport has received thousands of hits. In only days, there were 404,432k views and 124K shares. I wonder how many more children need to suffer? I think of all the vaccine-injured families and know that there is strength in our numbers. Each of us bringing critical gifts to the table – scientists, lawyers, writers, and speakers coming forward with our individual stories. Our voices are strong and we are not going away. What happened to Lorrin 20 years ago was criminal and the fact that since that time thousands of children have had crimes committed against them is just outrageous! For the love of my daughter and all the children before her, currently and who will be injured, I share our story and fight this fight.
Our prayers and voices will be heard and justice will prevail.
The beautiful thing about mothers who have been shunned by society is that they become creative. Without rules we tend to make up our own. Who knew two years ago when I met Candyce Estave & Marcella Piper-Terry that I would be rallying together with these awesome moms to raise awareness for our children and their parents.
Truth be told, when Lorrin was alive I used to tell people educate before you vaccinate, break up the vaccines and give them separately. But since her death, almost five years ago, I see and hear the same story over and over about vaccine injury. Now, I tell parents to breast feed and keep all the toxins out of their babies for as long as possible. That means all toxins, GMO’s, red dye and lets not forget the poisonous sugar.
Marcella’s daughter Rachel was vaccine injured as a child twenty years ago. She was labeled with many different names. Thankfully she fully recovered through bi0-medical treatment. When Rachel was 15 she was bitten by a spider and her mom was bullied into giving her a tetanus vaccination. Marcella didn’t know that what she was agreeing to give her daughter was actually the TDaP which was full of milk proteins which Rachel is allergic to. Only hours after the vaccine Rachel almost died. Since then many of her symptoms returned from her early childhood. It really angered Marcella when she saw all the pressure coming from the schools stating that parents HAD to vaccinate. She called the local paper in her area and wanted them to print the facts about vaccinations. She was totally denied. Then Marcella became creative, she decided to post a billboard in her area that stated the truth about vaccines and a link to where parents could obtain more information.
What started to be a simple idea has blown up into a huge campaign. The first billboard posted was raised by parents donations via Facebook and dedicated to a boy who recently died from vaccine injury. The universe was supporting this message in many ways. Please go to VaxTruth.org to read the entire billboards and Rachels story.
Candyce Estave, a mother of two beautiful children, who’s son was injured by vaccinations, remembers knowing in her gut it was wrong to vaccinate, so she asked her best friend to help hold him down while her doctor gave him his shots. At 17 months of age her beautiful baby boy lost his language, stopped kissing and cuddling and started lining up his toys in a row. She admits being in denial for a while until her family told her that there was something terribly wrong.A few months ago, Candyce stood on her street corner in Santa Maria holding signs with other parents to get the truth about vaccine rights out to parents. I saw this and called her to say, “I want to stand on the corner with you!” I am proud to say that this campaign is becoming a grass roots movement to educate. You won’t see this type of information on the television because we all know who owns the TV. You don’t have to watch very long until you see a Viagra, Tylenol or some type of drug commercial. As I mentioned before, today’s moms are clever and creative, we are not going away and we will tell our truth to anyone who will listen, in the hope that this information will go some way to saving our precious babies and their families from injury.
I am very excited to go to Santa Maria and stand on the corner. Like all other grass movements this one is free and intended to educate parents. The CDC states that 53% of our children has some type of chronic illness. That is one in two! We all need to be concerned about the Autism rates, infant mortality rates and diabetes to name a few. Our kids are sick and we need to stop this. I encourage you to educate yourself and share this information with as many people who will listen.
For more information see VaxTruth.org.
When: Friday July 18, 2014 from 3-500 pm
Where: Corner of Main Street and Miller in Santa Maria, CA 93454
Recently at my fourth Autism One conference I experienced that familiar response after one finds out that Lorrin has died. Some had tears pool in their eyes and a look of pity came over their face. Each person who hears our story puts himself or herself in my place. I understand it, I do. Of course it is every mother’s greatest fear to lose her child. But the truth is that it didn’t happen over night, it took many years for me to get the understanding and place of peace that I am at now. Lorrin being my greatest teacher came in to this lifetime with big shoes to fill.
It saddens me deeply meeting so many parents living with vaccine injury. Their desperate search to recover their precious babies reminds me of the first years of Lorrin’s life. Back in 1994 I did all that I could do to “heal” Lorrin. Isolated, before the Internet I took Lorrin anywhere and everywhere to fix her. It wasn’t until she was three years old that I realized that she came here to live in this seemingly broken body to help others and me. The healing that I was looking for in Lorrin was actually meant to take place in me. I was the one who needed help.
I think the hardest part of being Lorrin’s mom was finding the balance in doing all that I could do to help her be as comfortable as she could in her broken body and still remain in a state of grace, fully understanding that she was perfect the way she was. I miss being a mom, her sweet face, those little crooked feet and her big blue eyes each looking in a different direction.
So how can I explain to parents that I am ok with Lorrin not being physical? It is hard to put into words; it has been a journey and a life lesson. My inner peace is from Lorrins teachings that have become my belief system. She taught me that Life is just a coffee break. Our time on earth is brief. We are here to learn lessons of love. It is my belief that Lorrin and I have lived many life times together; her taking care of me and visa versa. Before she came here she agreed to this body that appears to the rest of us as a horrible existence. I agreed to be her mother. She was totally comfortable with who she was and had a huge faith in God. She understood higher realms and communicated to people in many different ways without words. Lorrin has always talked to people in their dreams. She told me once, “Mom if you could see what I do, you would not worry so much and you would enjoy life more.” Lorrin always wanted me to be in a place of self-love.
I am in awe to all the brave parents who are fighting the fight. Recovery is happening for so many children. But I just want to say that if your child is not recovered please be open to the idea that they are perfect the way they are and here to teach you many wonderful lessons. I encourage you not to get so caught up in the fixing that you miss the journey. Being unique has awesome benefits. In all Lorrin’s brokenness she made people feel comfortable drawing them in with her loving energy.
Please know I understand the look. Yes, something tragic happened to my family. The truth is that tragic events happen all the time. The true tragedy would have been if I missed her life lessons and missed the joy in being Lorrin’s mother. Lorrin was/is an amazing teacher and that was only made possible by her uniqueness. She never walked or talked and in 15 years taught me more than I could have learned in lifetimes. I often think about what she would be like if she would “normal” and wonder if we would have been so close? Would I have met Sarah her BFF? The best part of who I am is because SHE came here in a body that most see as insignificant. To all you moms, dads, caregivers and onlookers to unique children, please know that each of us wants the same things in life we just manage to do them differently. Life is short and meant to be embraced and treasured. I always say quality not quantity.
Our unique children are changing the world. Lorrin is one of many messengers of love and light. I believe that there is a healing taking place and parents all over are seeing the magic in their precious children who are strong and powerful, communicating with each other on a level that most of us don’t understand yet. Be open to the journey and do your best to stay in the moment. Life is happening.
Who over 40 hasn’t heard their elders say at least once, “When I was young I walked two miles in the snow, up hill to get to school?” Yes, we can all relate to a time when things were tougher. I can’t help but wonder how moms are surviving in today’s society with all the pressures regarding children’s health. The CDC states that 53% of US children have chronic illness, 1 in 68 children have Autism; diabetes and peanut allergies are on the rise. Many of us believe that the vaccine schedule plays a huge role in making our babies sick. How do mother’s do it?
Recently my friend was kicked out of 3 different pediatrician offices for choosing to delay the vaccine schedule for her one year old. The third office she was kicked out of recommended that she quit breast-feeding and give her daughter cows milk. Today pediatricians are also strongly suggesting that anyone near a newborn be vaccinated. This new trend is referred to as the “cocoon” effect. It is creating some serous breakdowns between mother/daughter/grandmother relationships.
Our kids are sick, mothers are worried and any one questioning the vaccine schedule is labeled a “crazy” person. Actually, we like to be referred to as Thinkers. Thanks to The Thinking Mom’s Revolution we have united, and are choosing to not vaccinate. We are also choosing alternative diets, eliminating gluten, GMO’s, and quit going to the pediatrician. It is a sad time when we just can’t trust doctors. We have had numerous reports of nurses trying to sneak vaccines into babies, without parental consent. Healthcare workers are being forced to vaccinate or lose their jobs.
My niece simply stated, “If I am not vaccinating my baby there is no point in going to see the doctor, there are too many germs there.” I have to admit it makes me a bit nervous that moms are afraid to go to the pediatrician’s office. I lived there. Lorrin was not vaccinated by the pediatrician who took care of her for 14 years. Doctor “K” and I got pretty close during Lorrin’s numerous visits. I am grateful that he listened to me and we could agree to disagree on the issue of vaccinations. He told me that, “I always listen to the mother.” I know for a fact that Lorrin would have died long ago without his amazing care. It weighs heavy on my mind that; newborns, infants and young children are not being seen by a doctor. One thinker told me, “The doctors are just not listening”. I hear time and time again the same story, “I took my baby in and after the vaccination he/she was sick. The doctor told me that it was normal and prescribed antibiotics and then another round of vaccinations, and then another. This happens over and over until the child becomes allergic, chronically ill and or diagnosed with Autism.”
In The Thinking Mom’s Revolution book they give a shout out to Mark Zuckerberg for the wonderful gift of Facebook. Here we share, compare and connect. Parents are not alone or isolated. Their stories are not rare, it is the same one over and over. We unite, lift each other up when we are down and celebrate life no matter our kid’s abilities. Together we will make change and educate so this travesty will no longer be what society deems acceptable. Pediatricians need to be aware. Mothers I want to hold you up on this Mother’s Day and celebrate you and your beautiful children. Our voices will be heard. Happy Mother’s Day Thinkers.
The Buzz 2014
I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. But I am excited to start 2014, as the author of my new book, “A Unique Life Fully Lived”.
About 18 years ago I attended my first Abilities Expo with my daughter Lorrin. I was invited by Lorrins physical therapist and was told it was a “must” attend for families living a unique life experience. I went kicking and screaming as I did most things that involved my new life as a parent of a child with multiple disabilities. Unexpectedly, It opened my world in many ways. I found out that people living unique lives were fun, powerful and inspiring. Who knew? I returned year after year and befriended many vendors. When Lorrin was in her teens I worked at the Disabled Dealer booth sharing her accessible pinball machine. I had great fun and met all kinds of wonderful people.
In 2010 only months after Lorrin’s death, I remember leaving the Abilities Expo Los Angeles and walking through the parking structure feeling as though someone had finally cut my umbilical cord. I was sad, holding my stomach, barely able to walk. I was finally free of all things unique. Throughout that day I grieved Lorrin but felt a boost every time I was connecting with someone who was doing amazing things, even though they were differently abled. I kept thinking to myself, “It feels like Lorrin is near.” The more I thought about it the more that I realized I was a lifer in this community of awe-inspiring individuals.
As I complete my life’s work as Lorrin’s mother, many emotions come to the surface. What is the purpose of sharing our story? Each day I remind myself the reason I write. I remember being a parent before the Internet, feeling lost and scared. At times I was afraid of my daughter, but always afraid for her future. Connecting with people living unique lives gave me permission to get creative with how I was parenting Lorrin. The wonderful thing about parenting a unique child is that there are no rules, so I made up my own.
As a child I never wanted to be a writer. I started writing after Lorrin’s vaccine injury to save myself from the mad thoughts that filled my head. Being Lorrin’s parent changed my life and put me in a direction that I never imagined taking. In a dream one time, Lorrin laughingly said to me, “Mom, if nothing more, I have given you something to write about.” Lorrin always the calm one, also told me, “Life is but a coffee break!” One truth I learned from my daughter was that, if she was not worried, then why should I be?
A Unique Life Fully Lived is just that, a life lived with many experiences. It will make you cry. You can ask my husband the editor how many tissues he has gone through. At one point he said, “I have never cried so much in my life”. It will also make you laugh and hopefully fill your heart with hope and peace. I was not and am never going to be a sainted mother. I made many mistakes along the way and learned many life lessons from my daughter and random strangers who I met because of her.
It is my wish that my readers are inspired to try harder and to love themselves more. I also hope they become open to the wonderful and magical experience that unique children share.
I hope this book helps you to surrender your attachment to any expectation of what you thought your parenting experience was going to be and encourages you to surrender to what it is and ENJOY! There is enormous power behind just accepting your child just as they are. When you do this as a parent the entire dynamics change, and that is a promise!
I am excited about 2014, and am honored to be an Ambassador for the Abilities Expo for the second year. I can’t wait to be in Los Angeles and all the Expos. I long to reconnect with the amazing people from prior years and meet new families. I hope my book finds its way into the right hands and helps our unique and wonderful children by helping their parents.
January 18, 2014 By karenkain
I am honored to announce that I have completed my book, A Unique Life Fully Lived – The Lorrin Kain Story
It is after many years of growing, writing and sharing that I have completed my first book. I have always felt that there was a profound reason for Lorrin’s purpose in life. I tried to learn as much as I could while being her mother. She taught me more in 15 years than I could learn in many life times. Our journey and the lessons that she came here to teach are in my manuscript. I hope that you will enjoy reading this and grow from it as much as I am proud to share it with you. I look forward to traveling around the US with The Abilities Expo and talking to families about our adventures.
I recently spent some quality time with my friend Jane and her 2 ½ year old son. He impressed me with his ability to memorize, comprehend, and articulate. I would certainly consider him to be above average. I wasn’t the only one who noticed, everywhere we went she received comments similar to, “Wow! He is really smart.” Jane and I talk often about health, wellness and vaccines. She frankly asked, “I wonder if he is really smart or just healthy?”
This adorable young lad, who I will refer to as Jake, has never had a vaccination. The entire family is gluten free and eats an organic diet. Jake is still breast fed, he watches zero television (only selected movies) and gets what I would consider to be above and beyond love and attention at home. Jake’s play time is spent putting together and pulling apart Lego toys, one to one time, listening to classical and age appropriate music and is read to daily. Is Jake above average or is he one of the few babies, in this day and age, who is raised in a healthy lifestyle?
I told Jane that I thought she had dodged a bullet; she and her husband have allergies and are very sensitive to medications. Their commitment to making sure that Jake has a toxic free life as possible started way before birth.
As the vaccine war continues, doctors, HHS, CDC and the media all tell us that vaccines don’t cause harm. They also share statistics which state 53% of our children have some type of chronic illness, such as: allergies, asthma, seizures, diabetes and we can’t forget AUTISM! I am not exactly sure where Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) fits into all of this.
I travel around the US speaking to families who are Living a Unique Life Experience, and I hear the same two things: My child was fine until his/her vaccination or my child has a rare disease. Just yesterday, I was shopping at a children’s second hand store and a mother of a 1-year-old baby boy was on the phone to her doctor’s office, regarding her child’s prescription. She needed official paperwork in order to attend day care. It sounded almost as though she was proud of the fact that she was giving her son meds. I realize as I write this that I am judging, but it certainly made me think about how many US citizens are on some type of medication. Doctors have no problem prescribing medication to infants, at the same time advising parents not to feed any kind of solid food due to their digestive system being not fully developed. No bananas for our babies, but lets give them 8 shots at once, which are full of: diseases, aborted fetal tissue, mercury, formaldehyde and God knows what else. Parents are also encouraged to give their infants canned formula instead of breast-feeding. Are we dummied up? You don’t have to do much research to learn that when you microwave food it destroys the nutritional value.
We live in a fast paced society and our kids are suffering. If kids are lucky enough to have two parents living in the home, they are usually both working. I am concerned for our children and their future. Our health is not being put first. Instead of keeping fit and eating healthily we take pills. We are treating symptoms but not the cause. Are vaccinations, television, packaged food, sugars, gluten, GMO’s and hormones in our food responsible for making kids numb and dumb? It takes time and money to filter out these poisons but parents are paying one way or another, aren’t they? I know many parents who have kids with Autism that easily spend $64,000, a year if not more to recover their children (to get the toxins out of their bodies).
Parents, I am not blaming you for vaccinating. I did it. I am also NOT saying that vaccine injured kids are not smart, they are. Lorrin, was incredibly smart; she had a wicked sense of humor that most missed, because she was stuck living in a body with severe brain damage. I remember when she was 13, during physical therapy we tried to teach her how to give the middle finger, as age appropriate expressive language, right? She tried and tried with great effort to straighten her tiny curled finger with no success. We finally settled on her giving what we liked to call the, “one eye” she would wink one of her baby blues with a rotten teenage smirk, we all knew exactly what she meant. After all, everyone wants to cuss their parents, at least once. As far as I know she only did it to a selected few and me. Lorrin was a joker and that takes intelligence.
I am NOT blaming parents, I know they are angry and feel guilty that they vaccinated their babies. Many feel as though they let them down and are responsible for the challenges that they will live with for the rest of their lives. I certainly would love to see a study that compares the health and wellness of vaccinated V’s non vaccinated children. Looking at their ability to focus, learning, motor skills, comprehension and retention.
I admit that I sometimes think that all children are disabled; it is the crowd that I run with. I have not been a parent of a healthy child. I am very proud of my nieces and nephew who have made informed decisions on what they put into their children. I do know when I sit next to my great nephew, who is not vaccinated he does not stop talking; he is funnier and more creative than most adults I know, and thinks out of the box. Just the fact that he is a boy puts him at a huge risk for having Autism.
Thanksgiving was one of Lorrin’s favorite holidays. She loved the smells coming from the kitchen, in the days preparing for a celebration of what we are grateful for. You might think that parents who have unique children do not feel grateful, but I believe parents who live A Unique Life Experience are possibly more grateful for the little things. I have learned that the little things become the big things.
What I really think she loved most were people coming together without any expectations, except good food and cheer, celebrating love and gratitude. For many years I had dinner at my home for the misfits who didn’t have family close by. Family can mean many things and often blood has nothing to do with it. We always had an extended family of nurses and caregivers that were such a huge part of our lives.
I want to share a bit about what I am grateful for. It will be four years this December since Lorrin left her body. I am still recovering from the posttraumatic stress that was my life for 15 years. My body still reacts to old patterns and thought forms. I worked especially hard taking care of my spirit when Lorrin was alive and I know now that I need to work equally as hard every day to keep as emotionally sane, spiritually in tune and physically healthy as I can be. Lorrin was such a spiritual being always comfortable with who she was. In the beginning I learned by her lead and it took me many years of kicking and screaming, complaining and moaning about my situation before I came to the realization, if she wasn’t complaining then why was I?
I believe that I not only survived but also thrived as Lorrin’s mother, by taking care of my spirit and understanding that she was perfect just the way she was. I learned that I had to take care of myself to better care for her, ultimately learning that I had very little control over my circumstances, only in the way I reacted to them.
I spent 15 years mastering my reactions to unbearable situations. Understanding that my thoughts became my reality. I learned that I had better be careful on what I focused upon. I was dedicated to learning all that I could, to keep peace in my brain, body and home. I worked with many different platforms of spiritual based guidance. I have developed a mish mash of tools and beliefs that I use daily to keep my sanity. Just yesterday I worked with Megan who is my energy guru. We have worked on and off together for 7 years. During our phone session I told her, “I am missing it!” I know what I should be doing but I am not getting it. She told me that I had so much stress for so many years that part of my body was reacting to my, “Always being one step ahead of disaster” caregiver lifestyle. I knew back then that I didn’t have control, but I did my best to control what I thought I could; impending hospital stays, trying to keep Lorrin’s body as healthy as possible, which consisted of vitamins, therapies, drops, tinctures, food and of course let us not forget play. Talking to Megan I realized that as I was busy in my new home preparing for winter (which may consist of 4 feet of snow for four months), in doing that I was triggering my old “one step ahead” pattern. And even though I was only storing food it triggered my deep seeded one step ahead of disaster physical response.
Four years after Lorrin’s death I still suffer panic attacks and anxiety. Talking to Megan, she reminded me of the things that I knew but have not been using since my move. I love how the subconscious works; the night before I had a dream and the message was clear as day, “Be in the now, be here now”. With my epiphany I immediately went to a place of, I should know better, but that is just one more way my ego tries to beat me up. My second thought is of all the moms that are still dealing with a fight or flight lifestyle.
So what does that have to do with being grateful? Well, I am grateful that Lorrin loved me enough to pick me, teach me and trust me to take the very best care of her. In doing so I learned many life lessons. I think I am a better person for parenting her, and experiencing all of the ups and downs we shared together. Today, I try my best to take care of myself in honor of Lorrin, who lived in a body that was catastrophically broken without ever complaining. I share my story in the hope that parents, especially moms will take extra time to get in touch with their spirits; be gentle with themselves and slow the trying to be “one step ahead of disaster” lifestyle. Be in the moment and enjoy the simple things, the beautiful memories that are being made right now. Thank you, to all the children who come into this world to teach us a higher meaning. It is an honor and a privilege to be a parent of A Child Living A Unique Life Experience.